The Pooh Day

Mommeeeeeeeeeeee"! I would scream hysterically, "Dougie's done a POOH!!!! in the bath!!!" WHo knew 28 or so years later it would be me on pooh duty in the bath. Scullying and Muldering for the IFO's- identified floating objects in the bath. Avent, Pigeon, Shnookums, if anyone is listening, I tell you there is a market for an emergency baby pooper scooper for the bath. Anyway, a pooh bath to end a pooh day. Think I'll go have a shower...

Christopher's first swimming lesson and first time in a swimming pool

Waiting to go in.

Toe'sies in first.

Making friends on the way in and contemplating what lies ahead.

We're instructed that they are to climb in themselves. Christopher after being very keen before the lesson to get into the pool has now changed his mind and decides to toddle off the other way.

Mommy doing a cheat when she thought the teacher was not looking and helping him in as he was not about to come in himself. How cute do we look in our Tigger costume, a present from family overseas?

Now we have to walk to the end of the shallow end step- water takes Christopher up to his chin and he is not too sure about this all.

One small step...one giant leap of faith...

A BEEEEG LUF for a VERY BRAVE (and not too sure about this lot) boy.

Instructed that we are both to hang onto the wall but I am not to help him. Gulp. He goes under. Not sure who's more afraid- him or me. He's very brave and doesn't cry but not too keen to get back in again and do the whole hanging on a wall thing. Tracey- the instructor- says that it is fantastic if they go under like that because then they realise why they need to hang on the wall and we must enthusiastically praise them when this happens. I struggle to breath at this point, let alone praise.

And finally, LUFFIES FROM UNCLE DOUG, a chicken frickadel, and some juice after a hard day's work!

Thank you my wonderful brother for coming along, helping to carry out half our home and bring it back again and for taking these wonderful pictures. I am so glad that you were with us today. Luf you lots. xxx

Another Day of Fun!

Christopher saw his first film (Earth) in a cinema today, had popcorn for the first time, discovered that he liked it a lot, left enough food beneath his seat, my seat and James' seat to feed the starving masses and got really excited when he saw the Polar bears for the first time. He was pointing at the screen, panting (what does a doggy do? breathing) and just thoroughly enjoying himself. Dad was getting a bit worried when he kept squawking out at the screen when he saw something interesting. I was not so worried because we sat right in the front row and the cinema was pretty empty, but eventually we decided that an hour was the limit of Christopher's attention. To the screen anyway. He then focused his full attention on climbing onto my lap and feeding me popcorn (which I really don't fancy that much, but which deterred him none).

I was more riveted on Christopher's response to what he watched than the film (which was a rather dry rehash of certain doccie pieces I have already seen). He sat between James and I and took turns climbing onto our laps and mining James popcorn box for greedy handfuls which were then shovelled into his mouth in a somewhat hit but mostly miss affair. Mom has also packed him pretzels, cheese and cocktail sausages. The cleaners will no doubt be finding bits of these for weeks to come and loving us not very much.

Then another first- a games arcade. We threw balls into buckets held by clowns, hit crocodiles as they rushed out and snapped their jaws at us (thought that this would be a hit- excuse the pun- with Christopher as he loves hitting daddy and I - but nope- he would have none of it), then he sat on my lap and we both tried to steer a racing car- we would have done pretty well if it were a demolition derby. But anyway, at the end we had scored enough tickets on all machines (37) to purchase a baby Vuvuzela. Thankfully Christopher cannot blow into it- so he tries to make his own noise with his mouth on it. Had a delicious fish braai with Glen and Charmaine. Charmaine was fantastic with him. Lord Christopher reclined on the pool lounger. All that was missing was a little pink umbrella in his sippy cup. Then we moved inside and he sat on my lap at the kitchen counter sampling bits of the salad that Charmaine was making and listening to us gab. He decided that Feta and Strawberry Fanta were not such a great mix, but the avo and rooting around in someone else's Tupperware cupboard, unpacking it and redistributing it like pretty floor confetti was not bad. Had a good laugh at him when he climbed up on their couch and made himself at home with the remote in his little hand. I now have no doubt that this is hard-wired into the male brain.

Fun at the Walter SIzulu Botanical Gardens

What a long day! Went to ToyZone to look for a Flintstone type car that he loves at Nursery School. Had to laugh as he sat down at the Lego table with the other kids and proceeded to grab handfuls of Lego and shovel it into his mouth. His compadres were not amused but it was amusing to watch the one little one go on a save and retrieve mission in my son's mouth.

Moved on and let him run around and I think that he had a bit of a precocious protest action because he grabbed a Bratz doll, threw her on the floor and proceeded to stomp all over her packaging. Perhaps I can sell his services to advertisers targeting his age group. Something that they are doing is clearly not working...

Granny and I put some distance between us and the little darling (while having a good laugh at his determination to stomp out the Brat) and left Daddy to anxiously inspect the packaging before deciding it was in order to put it back on the shelf.

Left store with a lawnmower which came into good use at the Botanical Gardens and brought many smiles from onlookers.

Lunch with the Girls

Just had a wonderful lunch with my long-time girl friends, Taz- since 1998, Mel since 2000 and Tanya since around 2003. It is amazing what we have been through over the years. Taz married her long-time sweetheart, Quintin and had her first baby after losing an ovary. Mel lost her long-time sweetheart in a horrific car-crash. Tanya had a horrible divorce- but has since met the love of her life and is pregnant with a little boy. Needless to say- I am sharing all the advice I wish I had received. It is so wonderful to have these friends who have been with you for so long- who know you so well - who know your history. Although I never turn down a chance to make a new friend. Christopher behaved like an angel as usual. We had a first- he sucked through a straw for the first time today. Daddy has just walked in the door now from show-house sitting. He says he is just like his father- dead-clever. Yes well. ahem, ofcourse dear. Noticed for the first time on Friday night that his feet were touching the footledge on his high chair. Iver thought the day would come. When we first got the high chair he was so tiny in it with his feet so far away from the ledge. My little baby is growing up- and I am so proud of the beautiful wonderful little person that he is. Anyway, time for me to go and wake up my little guy. Then dinner time, bath time, cream time, cuddle time, bottle time and my personal favourite- bedtime.

Bartering, fish and sweet potatoes

No jokes about our electricity accounts going up. Just opened my July account and it has only doubled. WOnderfuckingful. Picked up Poobaroo today and headed to the video store. George, the young black guy behind the counter who James always teases- makes a big fuss of Christopher. Christopher eyes him suspiciously. I don't blame him as he once tried to thieve his dummy off him. Anyway, it is still so sweet the way George says to him- Ja you always look at me but you never greet me. Jy hou my dop. What is that in English? He's keeping an eye on you- I reply. I find the interaction between Christopher and George funny. Christopher will usually smile at anyone and George is always so sweet to him but Christopher just eyes him warily. Nothing at video store and hubby heading home from golf. Picking up fish and chips. We have a wonderful fish and chips shop just around the corner from us- with a pucker British couple that run it. Fish doesn't get wrapped in newspaper- but blotting paper so close enough. Anyway- you probably need an ice-pick to remove the cholesterol from your arteries after eating their slap chips and battered deep- fried fish. Reminds me of my to trip to the UK when I met James family overseas for the first time. He was very proud to take me to one of their fish and chip shops. I demanded that we tried everything (except the battered, deep fried Bar One which just seemed like a weird idea). I My baby monitor that is sitting on the table next to me just let out a loud bleep...does the paranoia ever go away? Now at least I'll take a swift pace to his room and put my hand onto him to check that he is still alive. The first few times the beep beep (to use the technical name for it) went off- I think that I would have beat Sea Biscuit in a race to get to his cot- with my heart galloping along at the same pace. so back to the UK fish and chips shop- I tried the battered mushy peas. Yuk. Yuk. Yuk to the power of 15 grillion. I don't recommend it. Hubby back with fish. Have tasked him with pouring wine while I finish off. Susan has invited me to a Ladies Night out entitled "Bringing Sexy Back"- apparently presented by a French Life Coach with a sense of humour and only for the over 18's. Looking forward to that. I was just saying to James last night- how nice it is to do things out of the ordinary. I don't know whether it is because we are approaching the silly season- but lately I have been to quite a few "different" things and really enjoyed them. I met a girl called Lara at a ladies breakfast and presentation on money management this week. She has her own company called Mavaric. She claims that marketing and advertising are dead and that going forward networking and relationships are what it is all about, that money will become obsolete as we all return to a bartering system. Anyone for the bonsai'ed sweet potatoes we pulled out of our garden today?

Trying to catch it

I feel like my life has gotten ahead of me. Hopefully will catch up with it one day. We had our first experience with Croup. That was awful. Glad that I am a paranoid mother even if it means that my sleep is like a patchwork quilt- interrupted and stitched from scraps I manage to snatch here and there! Christopher was coughing and wondered if I should check on him. Good thing I did. We ended up at the Olivedale emergency rooms just before Pumpkin Hour. Me in my jammies with handbag- must have looked odd- but was waived through when we got there. Christopher does not like being nebulised- but luckily this is something that seems to go as quickly as it comes. I hope it never happens again- that ride to the clinic was one of the scariest rides of my life- I did not know if he was going to stop breathing any second. Luckily he is fine now except for a cough. Not great- having to juggle work with a sick child though- especially when you know that e-mails are multiplying in rabid fashion while you're away from work. But family first. Public holiday today, but went into work this morning. I am so glad to see the first spring blooms all over the place. There is a gorgeous coral tree at the boomed entrance of our suburb- and its flowers have just started to come out. I love that tree, in fact the whole avenue that runs through the suburb- is so pretty come spring. I definitely feel a psychological lightening come spring. Have discovered cross-stitch magazines. Some beautiful patterns that I have been pouring over. Don't know if I will ever get around to it. I always have something new that I am interested in... and lots of unfinished projects... Pat has pruned my roses outside my front door and I look forward to having my summer roses greet me whenever I return home. I noticed in one of the shops that I went into that they have "fuller figured" mannequins. It was just so wrong. Poor mannequins. Even they did not seem to happy about it. They looked depressed if that is possible. At least their leggies will never show hail damage. There is a woman across the road with a motorbike- a loud Harley sounding one. Why oh why does she rev it like that when Christopher is asleep. I am surprised that there are not more incidents of my-baby is trying to sleep rage. On the desperate note...Yay- desperate housewives on tonight. James and I have a little tradition of snuggling up on the couch to watch Survivor and the DH together. Look forward to that. If Todd wins Survivor- I am going to be mighty peeved! Feeling teary-eyed today as I read my cousins blog www.stoneburble.blogspot.com . Her hubby has returned after being away for 6 months and the pictures of her little girl in her ballet outfit- too preshus!!! Funny how we can take for granted being able to see our loved ones and knowing that they are safe. Adam- her hubby is in the army. Have to end off on a bit of political commentary. I don't know exactly how far one can go before you risk being sued for defamation, but I would like to say very defamatory things about the politicians in our country who think that it is a good idea to rehabilitate our prisoners by having them learn karate. In a country as violent as ours- we now enable our criminals to be even more aggressive? Because it teaches them concentration and discipline. Great thinking batman. What's wrong with fucking needlepoint???

So I am sitting in the lounge- and it is cold. We are out of gas and I am waiting for James to get home so that I can go and get into a nice hot bath. This remains one of my pleasures in life. If people were really honest when describing their interests on their CV's you would see things like hot baths and sleep. Well at least on the CV's of mommies. I can't believe the embarrassing crap that I used to put on my CV's- horse riding and hiking and dancing. Snort. I'm allergic to horses, have been hiking all of twice and like any prospective employer gives a shit about whether or not you like to dance. Unless it's dancing like a trained monkey to whatever tune they happen to be playing. We are going away with friends this coming weekend and I am so looking forward to it but also so nervous about my little guy. This morning as I was making the bed I had to laugh at him, holding his asthma mask over his face and staggering around doing a Darth Vader thing. He started walking on the 25th June and it is so adorable. But anyway- back to going away. We have not been away in forever- but this could not be turned down- a totally free weekend at a game lodge with our own chef and driver and game ranger. So a Short week for me as we leave on Friday morning. In preparation, I have Christopher sleeping in his "tent"- a little travel bug that folds up into a compact little 4kg bag- much easier and lighter than carting around a camper cot. I was quite impressed tonight- I made it all snugly in there and only had to go and comfort him a few times. He's in our room so we will be creeping around. He has eventually fallen asleep clutching his teddy with his face pressed up against the net. It was bookclub at Francesca's yesterday. I cannot believe how much little Alessandro has grown. Saw the first sign of jealousy in Christopher and it made me smile- I was holding little Alessandro and Christopher eventually decided enuff was enuff and that I should rather hold him. I also learnt something- Brusccetta- is not pronounced brushetta- it is pronounced- brusketta. Francesca is Italian. Lucky cow is off to Italy for 3 weeks. Also- I think Christopher has a crush on Tamzin- it is so cute to see- he could not stop smiling at her yesterday and generally he is quite picky about who he wants to go to but he really seems to love her! So Yay- books are all stocked up again- even James scores as Sally brings books specially for him. Watched The Reader last night- what a sad and thought provoking film. Went grocery shopping earlier. Hell's teeth- can food get any more expensive??? I feel all rusty at writing- I can't seem to get into a routine- especially as I am just so buggered these days.

"Can Spring be far behind?" - Shelley

Well that was a weird one. I had enabled transliteration into Hindi thinking that this would allow people of the Hindu persuasion to read my blog. Nope- as I typed it started turning everything I wrote into Hindi. Very pretty but pretty confusing for a blonde like me. What is the old song- bewitched, bothered and bewildered? That about sums my life up right now. Had a laugh at work when I showed my colleagues that I am so distracted at the moment that I had without knowing it managed to put 2 watches on (the same wrist) and only noticed it hours later when I pulled up my sleeve. Talk about clock-watching... I have had so much to write about but also had the energy of a sloth on rhino tranquilisers. Christopher had his first birthday party and was so spoilt but that is the topic for another day. He has been sick this whole week and I am kinda getting used to the whole bleary eyed pre-dawn drill which generally ends up in me being barfed all over for my efforts. Change outfits- his and mine, administer drugs and love, fall back into bed and battle to fall asleep again. Wake up to alarm and wish my cellphone would self implode and leave me to sleep for another half an hour/day/month/start of world cup soccer. So far we have had a mild winter- but as per the title of this blog- I am longing for spring. Winter is not my favourite season that is for sure. Saw the first frost on the ground this morning as I travelled to work. Thankful that I just flick a switch to remove the frost from my back wind screen and that I don't have to shovel my driveway or any such thing, because then I think I would turn to drink (well...more than usual anyways). So now it is time to go and shower and fall into bed, until my young slave driver summons me again to the Barfarama Midnight festival of fun. As MargaretThatcher once said- "Sometimes you have to fight the same battle a few times before you win it" or something like that.

Monte Casino Bird Park

Had huge fun today at Monte Casino Bird Park with Taz, Dani and Q. Thank God for patient friends as I arrive an hour late. Always forget how long it takes to get the two of us ready. Glad we are diesel fueled and that I don't have to tether up ten oxen or coax a grouchy camel into a tad of a rushed trot across the veld.

Rush out at last having locked only to realise that Christopher is shoeless and sockless. Consider going out this way and then think that would just be cruel. (On that note- think of the renditions of The Old Lady who Lived in a SHoe, on the walls at Christopher's nursery school. I cannot tell you how funny they were. Better than any adult cartoons that I have seen in ages and that with no captions... the range of fearsome specimens that were the Old Lady made Godzilla look like Bambi. But I digress...)

Buy some bird syrup at entrance. Sit down for lunch. Christopher feeling anti-pram. Eat Boerewors roll with one hand while holding him on my lap. He has plate of chips and tomato sauce in his hair and just about everywhere else. Leave small heap of half eaten chip discards under the table and the tomato sauce lid perched decorously on top (which had also had a good suck).

First sighting of a peacock. Christopher is keen to get his grubby hands on it. Another little boy wails in fear. I am straining to hold Christopher back. I suggest that we all go and have a look at the Peacock together and laugh at Christopher, saying, "you really want to get your hands on that bird." "And eat it by the looks of things," the father of the other child comments. Christopher's eyes sparkle.

Try to put Christopher in pram. Oscar winning performance. I am grateful that I am surrounded by knowing parents who play deaf. Even more grateful that Q offers to push pram so I can hold Christopher.

Go into first bird cage and am shocked at all the empty food containers littering the entrance. We open ours and are mobbed by feathered ones. I am too slow in trying to prise the lid off my container and I cry with laughter as the bird on my hands tries to bite me viciously to show his displeasure at how slow I am- which doesn't add to my speed. Tamzin is covered with birds because she has managed to get hers open. One of her birds craps on my jeans. Thanks, you feathered little bird brain. I like these little bits of excrement to spice up my otherwise dull life. Christopher and Dani a bit overwhelmed by this lot. Now I understand the litter at the entrance- previous feeders obviously beat a hasty retreat. Food gone, the feathered ones go as quickly as they came- I try to reach out to one that a moment earlier was all too keen to get on my hand. I get the cold shoulder (and back) as he waddles off- turning only to eye me beadily with birdy distaste.

In the big aviary- the birds are remarkably tame and we have a visitor on Christopher's pram who seems quite content to stay with us even when we push the pram. I make the mistake of putting Christopher down to walk, stooping over him as he drags me along. There are shrieks when I try to disengage to straighten out my aching back. Junior's tastes venture to bundu bashing and the most direct route to the objects of his pursuit. Unfortunately with the Big Stupid One in tow- she is rather ungainly and tends to hinder progress when met with Christopher-high barriers. I cannot believe how strong he is as he saunters underneath them and tries with all his might to drag me along after him. Good thing we don't have to catch our dinner, mom. Cos with your contribution to this team effort, we'd starve.

After that we went to visit Tanya. Great timing as she was just getting freshly baked banana bread out of the oven. But that is not the only thing freshly baked as Tanya has recently found out that she also has a bun in the oven and is 6 weeks pregnant. So, Christopher does a full demo for her of How Moms Keep in Shape Dashing Around Friend's House After Pint-Sized Agent of Mayhem, Finger-in-Gadget Inserter, Wannabe-Finger-in-Plug-hole Inserter, Furniture Finger Painter, Decor Rearranger, I-Make-The-Energiser-Bunny-look-like-a-narcoleptic-sloth-on valium. I tell Tanya this is great. She seems to have a doubtful look in her eye.

I am not looking forward to this week ahead. A roller coaster week where one peek at my diary and I feel vertiginously dizzy. You know that feeling where you're sitting right at the top of a really steep descent and you know it is inevitable- there's no getting off till the end- you are Committed. But at end of week- Yay!!! Going to the hairdresser- this is a major pleasure in my life. Then to movies with Pat and Loren- which seems to be a tradition now- before Loren or I give birth (she is about to pop) we go to movies. Before I gave birth to Christopher- it was Sex in the City. With my Mother-in-Law. But despite graphic sex scenes- we both had a good laugh and I thoroughly enjoyed the movie. For some reason that escapes me now- I did not expect graphic sex scenes in Sex in the City.

Then after movies, James and I are off to a 40th birthday party- with an 80's theme at an Irish Club... Feels kinda weird that we are now going to 40th's! Feels even weirder knowing that your favourite 80's songs are now almost 30 years old...

So you think you love your dishwasher and Silver Linings

My cousin overseas, Nola, writes to say that she is getting a dishwasher and is so excited about it. I worry a bit for her cos she says that she got it off Gumtree for 50 Pounds (after diligent search of the keyboard I can find a dollar sign but not a pound sign- what does that tell you? About the world- not me, fool...) I suspected it would be a bit dodge- but heck I was impressed with the picture of it on her blog- didn't look dodge at all- looked pretty smart! http://www.stoneburble.blogspot.com/ if you must- I am short of time to blog here otherwise I would import her pic.

But - Noles is not the only one who loves her dishwasher. I don't know how anyone (especially anyone sans maid) manages without a dishwasher. Mine is brilliant- an AEG Favorit. But much as I love it- my little man loves it even more.

I have to laugh at him cos you have never seen such a scurry across the floor when the door of the dishwasher is open. No doubt as his weight goes above the 10kg mark the door is in jeopardy of busting off it's hinges as he clambers on enthusiastically- but in the meantime- the Big Stupid One is amused. Only thing is I have to keep a keen eye on him! Once I turned around and he was brandishing a steak-knife that he had pulled out of the dishwasher. I'm glad we don't have guns in the house. Why is it that little boys so naturally go for these things?

So I have been off everything lately. But find that my 2 favourite therapies never fail to soothe scurvy feathers- sleep and hot water (not both at the same time mind you). Managed to get a 2-hour afternoon nap yesterday - finally the advice kicks in- sleep when they sleep- what bliss. I felt like a new person. Till dreamtime this morning.

What a freakshow! Don't you hate those dreams that haunt you for most of the day and make you wonder about the competence of the little okes back at Command Central who seem to think that this is appropriate dreamtime entertainment. I read somewhere and I found it quite interesting that apparently- your mind never makes up a person's appearance in your dreams- they are all people that you have at one stage seen whether in person or on TV etc.

But moving right along from Freakshows to incredible wonderful sky shows. I took these photos on my way to work and then from my office window last week Wednesday. The cloud one was just to beautiful and my photographic skills and little cellphone camera don't do it justice- it really was a breathtaking reminder to look out for the silver linings in your life even when the sky is cloudy.

Visit to Francesca

It was a dark and stormy...morning. Well not quite, but dark and buggering cold. But this was just the excuse to purchase Malva pudding and custard. Perfect weather for it. In a rush as late to see Francesca. Scurry into the shop clutching Christopher. Mentally figure I can forgo basket, pram, trolley and any other mod cons as I can manage 2 items- Malva pudding and custard. Well, you would think. Remember my pre-mommy days when I would silently judge mommies that must have looked like I did today. Did not reckon on Christopher honing up on his dummy spitting and teddy throwing skills (hope that this is not a foretaste of things to come...like tobacco spitting and cow tipping). Scrabble around on the floor. About 10 times. Retrieve dummy. Teddy. Dummy. Malva. Wallet. Dummy. ...Plop dummy from floor into Christopher's mouth (for want of any other place to put it barring my own mouth). Psychically cringe from the vibes of those who have not travelled this path. Did that bloody idiot just pop that dummy back into her kid's mouth after it has been on the floor? I'm amazed she hasn't bleedin well managed to drop the darn kid yet. They shouldn't allow the likes of her to breed. Poor kid doesn't stand a chance unless his father has a bit more in the cranial way than she does. She practically leopard crawled the whole way to the till. It's bloody embarrassing...

I scurry out. Head down. Wishing I had on sunglasses. Dark ones. And a balaclava.

Soon cheered up when I saw Francesca though. As you can see from the photo's above- she looks ridiculously good for someone who gave birth less than a month ago. Christopher loved the dog. A new edition in the Rosolen family. For the life of me, I can't remember his name. Roxette - keeps coming to mind though but I know that's not it! Ah shit. Now the mental jukebox has just put Dressed for Success on the turntable. Yes that is very appropriate. Well done chaps. So long as you're all amusing yourselves in there.

There are pictures of me as a toddler with the Schnauzer I used to have- so I have always had a soft spot for these little dogs. I love dogs. Other people's dogs. I am not much into poop patrol in my own yard. And obedience training, when my work on hubby is hardly a staggering success story. Anyway, as he always says- he is a work in progress.

Though it would appear that hubby is less of a work in progress than my brother-in-law. Apparently, my Mom-in-law was helping him to get his house show-ready today as he is selling it. Unfortunately, he split from a girlfriend a while back and she left a small memento of herself. Well. Not so small. A big pink dildo if you will. Anyway, his philosophy being waste not want not and recycling and all- he threw it out for the dog as a chew toy. And, forgot to remove it before his Mom came around. So she was greeted by Fido (or whatever his name is) with a dildo flapping in his jowls. He seemed pretty happy. Hopefully, he is not so happy when potential buyers arrive tomorrow.

I look forward to Christopher being old enough to choose his own doggie one day. I get such vicarious joy watching him with Doggies. In the meantime though- I have got him LUCKY! For his birthday so shhh. Lucky is fluffy toy mongrel that according to the box will follow 15 spoken commands. Incentive to learn to talk I figure. Though will probably not go down to well if I am instructed to play dead or bark a song. I was pretty pleased with myself. LUCKY was the last poor bastard of his type on the shelf. There were other similar command creatures going for R350. LUCKY's box looked like he had tried to chew his way out of it (box didn't say anything about a chew command- hope this is not going to be a problem...). So, get to till and brave embarrassment as previous clientele are hovering about. Please can I see your store manager. He duly appears. I would like (ah can you 2 just piss off- you've bought and paid for your stuff and this ain't a fekking show) a discount on this dog. As you can see the box is very shop-soiled. Manager proceeds to tell me (and my audience)(watch and learn you plonkers) that he cannot. WTF do you mean you CANNOT (thought but not said). You see- this is our suppliers' problem. Ke? But I am a customer in your shop! No need to ask my officious manager to elaborate for me (and my fekking audience. The show's not over chaps) he orates on...You see, we can send this back to the supplier and they will give us the full price back. This sounds surprisingly logical and like I am about to be check mated. I graciously surrender my king. I understand OK, no problem. "But how much are you willing to pay for this thing?" He picks it up and regards it like a Sandton housewife would regard 1-ply bog roll. (Oh shit, you mean I'm still in the game here? Mind goes into a kamikaze dive trying to figure out where my man's bottom line is (while we're on the metaphor of bogroll and all). Audience visibly intrigued. 150 Ront? I ask hopefully, with my voice and my eyebrows raising in a telltale question mark.

So yay! I got LUCKY for R150! Oh come on. You know what I bloody mean.

Granny Linda Came to Visit

Granny Linda came to visit today. At first Christopher was a tad anti-social when we went to fetch him from his cot, but as you can see, he soon warmed up to his GanGan. He was eyeing out Gan's hair and could see that he was keen to get a handful of it. He doesn't get to see many redheds. What bliss, to lie in bed till 6.30am this morning having taken the day off to spend with my Mom. Can't believe that 6.30am qualifies as a lie in these days! Mom and Dad have a TomTom. Sad day when your parents are more technologically advanced than you are. Not that this takes much where I am concerned. I am still awestruck by fire and the wheel. Took Christopher to a new paed today. Will be back to my old one with my tail between my legs. It's nice to have a second opinion when you are worried about something. But this guy today made me fear that the next ice age was imminent. May have had something to do with the fact that I was 15 minutes late. Not my fault they were digging up the roads around the hospital. I don't know- but got the feeling it was just a job to him and felt cross that he could be so business-like when my son was flashing him his sweetest smiles. So anyway- he says that Christopher has a bit of asthma but that this does not mean that he will have it when he grows up. Oiy. Hope not!! Scary. Poor little mite. He then spoke to me very seriously about the fact that Christopher must not smoke. Um...ok. Christopher- we're throwing your fags away as soon as we get home. I know you like to have one after you've hit the bottle and all, but Doc says no, ok? No more fags. Good boy. On that note- I am wondering if the cravings will ever go away??? It has been 19 months and still- I dream about having one. Anyway, no smokes, no grass, no alcohol. Poobaroo doesn't need all that. Mommy blew the bank on drugs today. What is it with these Pharmaceutical companies? I think that they all get together and shnarff vast quantities of their own product and then set their prices in a drug-addled high.

Jou Ma se Blerrie Blog

James asked if I wanted anything from the shops while he was there. "Would love a Chocolate Log." Look in bag hopefully when he arrives home. Bar One and slab of Turkish Delight. No Chocolate Log. Not even hiding under the bread rolls. Come out, come out ,wherever you are- I don't want to hurt you, I just want to EAT you! Nope. "No Chocolate Log Love?" (voice still hopeful). I thought you said you wanted a chocolate bar! (what is it with men?) Oh well. No use complaining- have polished off half a slab of Turkish Delight. James has cooked dinner, made me tea and now he is waiting in bed for his tea. He says anytime before midnight will do. Reminds me of Yes Man that we watched over the weekend with Jim Carey. There's this chick that he fancies that sings, "I'm not your late night booty call. You can call me at 10.59 but don't call me at 11..." James has been singing it ever since. Catchy tune. Anyway- if you are a mother and you feel like a good laugh check out http://www.joumaseblerrieblog.blogspot.com/ . Very funny and it won the best Parenting Blog for 2009 by the South African Blog awards. I felt really old today. Worked out that I have been out of school for 17 years!!! How did that happen? James and I have started looking at schools for young Christopher. Unbelievable that to get in a good school we have to book him in now. So he's officially on the waiting list for 2014- for Grade R for the same school that both his Dad and his Granddad went to. Apparently Brother Cornelius was chuffed to hear from James and says it is always great to hear from the Old Boys when they want to put their kids into the school. SO James chats to the admissions lady and says I have to be honest with you- my wife is a Baptist (I am???) I don't really know what I am, but I never thought that I would be sending my little man to a Catholic School. James says he'll start going to church with little Christopher. Now this I'd like to see. I took him once with me to my church and he told me it was all, "tits and teeth"!!! Now if you can figure out which church I took him to... you win the "Smart- Arse" award of the year. Luckily, we don't have much of an issue about religion in our home. I met a wonderful girl the other night when I went around to Tanya's for a girls' get together where we watched her wedding video. Kirsten. Beautiful girl. How she was even remotely normal- I don't know. He dad was Orthodox Catholic and her mom was a cross Anglican/Jehovah's witness. Apparently they made her go to church 8 times a week until at 12 she told them both she would never go again. That is one thing I must say I love- is my girl's get togethers- they keep me sane and I am so grateful to James for this time-out. Bookclub on Saturday. Looking forward to that- although have not finished my book- The 19th Wife- about the latter day saints. I was really enjoying it- but a few pages in decided that I was going on a positive diet and would only be watching and reading "happy" stuff. My little boy was 11 months this past weekend. I cannot believe how quickly his first year is going. Soon I will have a toddler and my little baby will disappear. Sad! He weighs 9.7kgs and is 71cm tall. Sometimes as frayed as the end of my tether may get when he refuses to go to sleep- if i put him down in his cot and give him his teddy and his dummy- he screams his little heart out and throws both at me in a juvenile temper and I can't help but laugh at him. I never realised that the saying, "throwing your toys out of the cot", was actually literal. But Christopher is not one to be limited by cliche. He throws his dummy out too for good measure and then rails against the cot barrier and howls and fumes for his tardy (weary, cursing, amused) servant to fetch him. Yes Master...there in the jiffiest of jiffs...

Grow Down!!

How do you feel about locking children in dark cupboards? Until I had Christopher, I thought this was a pretty excellent place to store them.

I have been thinking lately that this is what we do with our own inner children. They are neglected and stuffed away out of sight, out of mind and then we wonder why we are stressed, we wonder why we are down, we wonder why we feel incomplete. We wonder where the spark in our lives has gone and where the fun went. And then we feel guilty because we should be thinking about the million and one things that we have to do...should do...must do. We are all our own Atlas- bearing the weight of our adult worlds on our shoulders. But in our case this punishment is not inflicted by some malicious gods up Mount Olympus. No- much closer to home- generally by ourselves.

I admit there are times when we do have to be very grown up. But surely not every second of every day. How often does your inner child see the light of day? Would she even know how to come out and play?

Imagine a bunch of 4 years olds...Now imagine them acting like a bunch of 40 year olds? Are they having fun? In my imagination- no.

If I think about it- some of my memories of when I was most happy- my cherised memories are generally not of times when I was acting my most adult.

Sometimes- don't we just take ourselves and it all a little too seriously? And where does it get us? So for my part- I think a lot of us need to take the time to Grow Down! (even for a little while). This should not be confused with a ho-down. If you want a giggle- go and have a look at the rather bawdy definitions of a ho-down on http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ho%20down . And yes- that is another oft neglected childhood skill- laughing at the silly- seeing the ridiculous and delighting in nonsense.

For some help for those of you who have no idea what I am cracking on about- take a look at this site : http://www.stilesdesigns.com/ . That really appealed to my inner child and my imagination. Look at a few of the pictures from the site below:

I love that- Tree Houses and Forts even you can build... License to dream. I think that's what having a child gives you. I have been dreaming of a fort for Christopher and would love to get my hands on this book. Hopefully the dream doesn't end there.

When I was younger, my Dad built my brother and I a "treehouse". I use the term loosely. It never got past its stilt foundations. I can't remember why he never finished it. I can't remember if I ever asked. We did however still play on the structure that we referred to affectionately as the bomb shelter. My Dad is incredibly good with the DIY side and I don't mean destroy-it-youself. That is my speciality and I am such a ninny when it comes to these things I am even afraid of drills. I once tried though to hang a picture myself. I managed to relieve the wall of a chunk of plaster the size of a tennis ball. Luckily, once the picture was hung- it covered up all the evidence of my drilling operation (looked more like serious shrapnel damage). Another childish delight- plasters with pictures on them. I managed to skin my toe- but I find great delight in looking down at my toes in the bath and seeing my toe neatly wrapped in a Batman Plaster. Nice to think about when I am being adult and in my work clothes. I have a batman plaster on my toe. Batman is definitely one of my favourites. Another childish delight- I love Marvel comic movies. Pure escapism and a return to childish optimism and the way the world should be- where you know the good guy is going to win in the end- even if he does have to wear a rather kinky leather get-up to achieve this. When I grow up I want to drive the Bat mobile... But given that it recently sold for $297 000, maybe not. But so good to see that someone out there is living one of my favourite bumper stickers, seen on the bumbers of obscenely expensive cars: It's never too late to have happy childhood.