Gratitude

Todays Treasure:  coming home to find this note from my maid thanking me for sending her on a first aid course yesterday; 

Gratitude- being shown it can mean so much. I have often gotten it wrong. Sometimes I lack the words and I don't know how to show how truly grateful I am for something received. It is terrible to know that you have hurt someone because they think that you are ungrateful- when nothing is further from the truth- you are just unable to express your gratitude which is deeply felt.

There are memories that we all have that stay with us- where we wish that there was some way to go back and say things differently- do things differently. Showing my gratitude is a common theme in many of mine. I usually have no trouble expressing myself- but this is one area in my life- that I am awkward and tongue-tied to the point of embarrassment.

When I was 14 I had a wonderful friend. Her name was Catherine and she was a gifted artist. She once gave me a large copy of some art that she had done - rolled up - inserted in a cardboard roll and tied beautfully with a ribbon. The picture was many interleading rooms with little mice living their little lives in them, with miniature furniture and every detail drawn in for their comfort. It was gorgeous and I loved her present. After some time had passed- she asked me whether her present had offended me or whether I had not liked it because my response had been so off-hand. I was mortified and told her that I had loved her present but just felt embarrassed that I did not have one to give to her when she gave me hers. How many times do we misunderstand each other but never say anything? How many unintended hurts have we inflicted or do we carry?

But I am hopeful that although we never escape all our flaws- we can become aware of them and hopefully improve. Hopefully become better people as we go along rather than just older people. This is something that I become very introspective about whenever I have a birthday. Have I achieved anything special that year? Have I made my life or anyone else's any better (or worse)?

Today's treasures:

Friday's because that is when Christopher's teacher puts this diary in his bag to come home to me, after she has kept it for the week. She keeps a diary of the goings on in Christopher's life at school and writes it as if he is writing it himself. Reading it makes me laugh, makes me proud and makes my heart swell just that little bit more with love for my angel, even when it is because he has copied his friend, Aiden, and turned a bowl of spaghetti over on his head. It is so special and precious to me to have a small window onto his world when he is away from me. It is precious to me that you get special people, like Christopher's teacher who are prepared to do something like this for me and who put their heart and soul into doing it.