Today, on the above analogy- my happiness was inaudible. I am only now starting to feel ok- I think the result of a visit to casualty last night with Christopher when he seemed to be having trouble breathing- luckily a false alarm but still meant getting to bed late. I am a misery when I don't get enough sleep.
We had a talk by a psychologist the other day at work and he stated that "No-one can make you unhappy or angry. You decide to let them." What absolute bollocks. It is not the first time that I have heard this. I cannot believe that any educated, intelligent person would repeat such absolute crap. Ofcourse someone else can make you unhappy or mad or sad and you often fight it with all you've got because you don't want to feel any of these things- but in these feelings come and put their feet up and like a psycho visitor with a shotgun (and your TV remote)- you try to persuade them nicely to leave- but they generally only leave when they are good and ready.
So back to the anaology- people can bump your happiness dial - either up or down. A fight with a spouse, an altercation in the traffic, a client, a child, a rude stranger. Or - an unexpected compliment, a kind deed, a present, a smile, a favourite song on the radio, the delight of your child, the company of a good friend.
I do believe though- that although people can make you happy or sad, it is really up to you to find your own happiness. No one should ever have the burden of having to make you happy. And you are failing yourself if you don't go after it yourself and find the what and the who and the where of your own happiness. Athough, granted, these things are sometimes elusive and ever-changing.
Today's treasures: the alchemy of humour. The way it can change the mood, lift the spirit and bring people closer. Funny how on people's checklists of what they want in a mate- this one always seems to feature- a sense of humour. I love the moments that James and I have- where one of us will outdo ourselves with a particulary well timed piece of wit- when our giggles will turn into guffaws and we both laugh till we cry. Even the smaller wit-bits- where you smile and just feel that bit happier for the joke. Like the other night- when James looks over at me in bed and says, "Still reading that bloody book? " referring to the Count of Monte Cristo which is a genuine doorstop of a book. Me- Yes, with a look in my eyes that says- and what of it?). Him- "you've been reading that book for as long as that guy was in jail".
I had to read this book- after watching Shawshank Redemption- I loved how the main character kept writing and writing to the authorities till he finally got the books for his library. Then when the men are all unpacking the books and they come across the Count and there is a lot of laughter among the men when they read out the author's name as Alexander Dumb Ass (Alexander Dumas).
A tidy home. It looked like an Act of God had smote it earlier on and I didn't know where to begin. But now is wonderful and tidy. It is amazing what a tidy home does for my peace of mind. I hate all things domestic- especially wiping counters and mopping floors- but I am miserable when I am surrounded by a mess.
Christopher- all of a sudden he will start shouting and gesturing with a look of outrage on his face : "UFFFF! UF!" When I look around I see one of our cats on the dining room table or somewhere else Christopher thinks that he shouldn't be. Christopher is copying me as he has seen me shouting at the cats to "get off". It is so funny to watch and wonder what I must look like to Christopher- funny to see yourself copied.
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